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May 18, 2012
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800×1045
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Comments: 54
Favourites: 69 [who?]

Views: 1,274 (0 today)
Downloads: 16 (0 today)
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:iconaubsneechan:
you can read it here: [link]


for previous chapters: [link]

Please comment on what you think about my comics, so that if there are flaws you might help me to improve. thank you.
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:iconlylia-chan:
I've read a few pages of your comic and... Dude, I'm honestly impressed : o !!

It's really easy to read, the humor is great ("I can't find the door" - "It's right next to you, dumbass!!" made my day XD) and it clearly has all the basics of a good comic!

It's really good art-wise as well, it can only be with Aubs' style :heart: The only thing I could criticize is maybe the backgrounds, which look a bit... raw? Unrefined, I mean. It's something that can easily be improved on though, I know you can draw great backgrounds if you take enough time to do it :thumbsup:

A final detail, although I'm sure I'm the only one bothered by it as a translator, is the language and your use of speech bubbles. Don't get me wrong, the English is very good (and I wouldn't dare criticize it when it's not even my native language), but you should still get it beta'd by an native with excellent english if you can. Also, I spotted some not-very-English parts, such as the "Eh?!?" page 12. It's Japanese, not English, so be careful!
As for the speech bubbles, I saw that sometimes you added line breaks inside one same bubble, which looked a bit strange to me. I think you should express pauses in speech by separating the bubbles when possible. Also, when Sapphire is writing a journal page 10, I think it's better to write the content of the journal in a narrative fashion rather than a thought bubble.

But overall it's still an excellent comic!! I wish you the best of luck with it :heart:
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:iconaubsneechan:
~Aubsneechan Jul 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
aksjflkash!! you read it all!? awww... I'm so happy~
and thank you so much for the comments. I.. just started doing comics( a real one and not a doujin), that's why there are too many mistakes. My editor pointed out too many errors too ya know hahah!!! XDD :lol:
I'll take your critique as a compliment, since I really want to improve.
thank you Lylia~ :hug:
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:iconlychi:
Oh, everything about this is just so adorable! The character design and expression, the pink floofy sheep, the colors and so on. :D Lovely!
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:iconaubsneechan:
~Aubsneechan Jun 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
>///< ooh thank you!!!
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:icons00ffan:
Aweesome! Ima read this, it looks fun! :0
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:iconaubsneechan:
~Aubsneechan May 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
really?! :iconiloveyouplz: you should start with chapter 1 my dear~ :hug: :love:
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:icons00ffan:
Ive started reading it, and I LOVE IT :love: You're such a great artist! Im really a big fan of yours now!! :heart:
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:iconaubsneechan:
~Aubsneechan May 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconiloveyouplz: uwoooo!!! thank you!! you're such a kind person y'know! :hug:
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:iconsalamanderflame:
Pffff, what are those things? XDDD
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